Dear Cindy McCain: I'm offended that you're offended. (or, Chances are the McCains are not Theoretical Multi-Dimensional Sub-Atomic Particles.)

Cindy McCain says she's offended that Obama called out her husband for not knowing how many mansions she owns. (Link.) Cindy, I'm offended that you're offended. People the world over have no place to live, no food to eat, nothing, all for want of a few bucks. Yet you have seven homes. SEVEN. In a world crying for pennies? That's offensive.

Unlike theoretical multi-dimensional sub-atomic particles, human beings can only be in one place at one time. So really, you only need one home. However, I'll even permit you two, a main home and a vacation home. Beyond that, you're a couple of out-of-touch jerks, as Obama said (though he said it in much nicer words.)

I find it sinful that you don't give more of that money away. If you don’t remember how many houses you own, you're not going to miss a few bucks here and there.

(Okay intelligent readers, please pause a moment here while we wait for the knee-jerks to break out their labels. Let's see, "communist" and or "socialist" will do nicely but for the really rabid knee-jerk, why not dust off an old classic and call me "un-American?" Side note: If you define American as keeping seven houses while other people starve, then yes, I'm un-American.)

Yawn. Let's skip the unproductive tags and the baggage they come with. Let's focus on the only two labels that really matter: good or bad.

Is it good or bad that we have a country where two people can have seven homes and they are not compelled in any way to share that money, or even a larger proportion of that money (via taxes) than the people who have nothing? I know, I know. Principle. It's their money, they earned it (if by "earned" we mean by being born or marrying into it) so why compel them to do anything with it? Okay, fine then. Is that good or bad, that people who own so much are not compelled by any law or by a conscience to help others?

I think it's bad. I think it's monstrous. It doesn't go just for the McCains. It goes for any ridiculously wealthy person who maintains more properties than they could possibly ever use. To not share when you have so much, it's an offense against humanity. It's an offense against the best parts of American society. I'm not asking that people not be wealthy, I'm just asking that they help out a little.

So how much would satisfy me? Well, the Catholic Church may be a joke in a lot of ways, but I like the goal of the tithe: ten percent. If you make a dollar you give away a dime. If you make ten million, give away one million. Etc.

I know, I know, the internet people are buzzing with how much Cindy gives to charity. I'm a little skeptical of such claims because if they were true, the McCain campaign would be screaming about it, since when did politicians stay silent about the good they believe they do? If true, then that's great, I'm mostly wrong here. Still, seven houses? That's excessive and wasteful.

Look, Cindy, I know John just learned about the internet, so please tell him to click here: http://www.kiva.org/. It's a place where you can make loans directly to the poor. I've done it myself and I don't have half the money you do. Thanks.

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Larry Nocella is the award-winning author of the novel Where Did This Come From? available at Amazon and Xlibris and other fine online book stores. Where Did This Come From? is also available as an eBook. For more info, visit Larry Nocella's website at http://www.larrynocella.com/.