Breaking Up with Obama (It's not you, it's me.)

Last week on U.S.A. Election Night 2008, we dodged a huge-ass bullet!

We had to stop the McCain-Palin insanity. We simply could not allow their armchair bloodlust anywhere near nuclear weapons. McCain would have pushed for war over an adjective (honor, integrity, dignity, freedom, etc. take your pick) and Palin would have pushed for war because she wanted The Rapture(TM) to happen ASAP.

McPalin was clueless, arrogant, prone to self-deception, oblivious to the costs of war, and crazily religious. Those are not ideal traits for stewards of a nuclear arsenal. If they had successfully stolen the election, we would all have had a decent chance of perishing in a nuclear holocaust.

Humanity dodged a bullet? Humanity dodged a fuckin' ICBM.

Now the election is over and I can breathe a tentative sigh of relief. Sadly, though, Obama and I are breaking up.

The lawn sign has been taken down. (By me, not by angry McCainers who think that supporting freedom means they must deny me my first amendment rights.) The bumper stickers are coming off when I get around to it. I've supported Obama strongly. I wanted to, but even if I didn't, I had to. The alternative was offering up all of us to become crispy, radioactive Human McNuggets(TM).

I've never been blind or purposefully dishonest when supporting Obama. Biased? Definitely, but never dishonest. Now, however, I intend to be a much more harsh critic.

You hold the highest office in the land, Obama, and your predecessor was a complete idiot. There's no time for soft words. I love you, bro, but there's no room for mushiness here. We've got to fix this country ASAP, so I'm going to be coldly objective. As much as I admire you, I still can't help but remind myself you are a politician and therefore worthy of my skepticism. We can still be friends, but the honeymoon is over. The good news is I think you're going to do well.

On a separate note, I know a couple who a while ago left the USA. They just didn't like the way the country was heading, so they took off. Buried in the hopeless Bush years, I can certainly relate, so I don't judge a decision like that.

As for me, I'm never leaving the USA. This is my country and I will stand and fight for it. I won't let a single stolen election (or even two) deter me. So to those refugees running from Hurricane Dork (the Bush years) I say, please come back. We need good people like you. To anyone who entertains the idea of leaving, please don't.

We need as many good people here as we can get. Because if the wrong group grabs power in the most madly military nation in the world, no place on Earth is going to save you.

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Larry Nocella is the author of the novel Where Did This Come From? available on Amazon. For more info, visit his website at http://www.larrynocella.com/.