I've Got A Cool Idea, Let's Move AWAY From War! (Or, My Qualifications As an Ass Surgeon)

As we get closer to the U.S. Presidential election I really feel we're fighting for the future of humanity. Okay, maybe it's not that important, as important as it is, but John "Whacky Mac" McCain really frightens me. In the grand scheme of human history, I'd like to do what little I can to push my fellow primates AWAY from war, but we seem to be moving in the opposite direction, where out-of-touch bloodthirsty lunatics (commonly called Neo-Cons) call for war with the same casual attitude as one might order pizza delivery.

Whacky Mac and his fellow war trolls aren't calling for less war, or even the same amount. They want to increase it. McCain is threatening Iran, threatening Russia, etc. so I definitely won't be voting Republican this year (not that I do any year truthfully, although my local guy is actually not so bad, then again, he doesn't have access to nukes.)

It's funny to me that McCain was a P.O.W. decades ago and he claims this makes him competent to conduct war. I was mugged about 20 years ago, would any one do anything except laugh if I insisted that qualified me for a job as police chief of a major city? I once had a cyst removed from my butt; imagine if I strolled into the local hospital and demanded to be made the Chief Ass Surgeon based on that alone. Yeah, I'd sound as ridiculous as Whacky Mac.

McCain claimed, "I know how to win wars." Assuming war has a victor, what war has he actually won? The two he was heavily involved in (Vietnam and Iraq) are counted as losses.

Then every time Whacky Mac says something stupid (bombing Iran, offering 5 million dollars as the barrier between middle class and rich) the repeated defense of his followers is "Oh, he's just joking." Well, when the hell does he get serious about things like war and people's financial survival? Whacky Mac, how do I pay my mortgage? "Sit down, son, and let me tell you about the time I was a P.O.W." No, gramps! Enough! We've all heard it a thousand times. Move toward PEACE. Evolve. Please!

I know Obama and Biden are politicians. I know they will do things that upset me, that I disagree with, things that are slimy, but at least, at the very least, they seem to be capable of considering the weight of their decisions, the impact of what they say, and the fact that war isn't something to stroll into and stay in with a ho-hum (and laughing!) attitude.

I'm sick of war being this thing we live with, something described as a last option, but always used first. I want to get back to working for solutions other than war. I want humanity to move away from war, not towards it. Let's move towards peace.

That’s why I can't deal with Whacky Mac (and the goon squad that owns him) and why I will vote for Obama.


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Larry Nocella is the award-winning author of the novel Where Did This Come From? available at Amazon and Xlibris and other fine online book stores. Where Did This Come From? is also available as an eBook. For more info, visit Larry Nocella's website at http://www.larrynocella.com/.

Experts With No Expertise (a.k.a. Talking Out Your Ass)

September 11 impacted our world in millions of ways, but one of the more obscure ways it left its mark was how it created a lot of self-proclaimed demolition experts. Overnight, thousands of ordinary people who had never studied architecture, aerodynamics, airline disasters, chemistry or physics somehow were certain they knew exactly how a skyscraper should behave after being hit by a plane going full speed.

These newborn experts just knew something wasn't right. The towers acted more like buildings laced with explosives than buildings that had just been hit by what was essentially a missile. I believe this self-anointed "expertise" is what drives a lot of the 9/11 conspiracy movement. Of course, the other part that drives that movement is the very real, very obvious criminal behavior of the Bush thugs. So I don't want to be too harsh on these overnight 9/11 experts. Being suspicious that the Bush criminal regime had a direct hand in 9/11 is forgivable, because it's been proven over and over, more each day, that they fabricated a war. Suspecting them of orchestrating something comparatively small like 9/11 is understandable.

What's not forgivable is thinking you know all about gays when you're not gay.

Whoa! Mental whiplash! How did we leap from 9/11 to gayness? Via Pat Robertson? No, we didn't take the Asshole Express! Gayness and 9/11 are connected because all things are connected, but the specific relationship I'm focusing on is that regarding both subjects, there are people drawing conclusions as if they are experts when they are very far from it. With 9/11 conspiracy theories, lots of people think they're knowledgeable about building demolition, architecture, etc. something they previously had no clue about. Similarly, when it comes to homosexuality, people who are not gay (they claim) speak as if they are somehow miraculously experts on the experience of being gay.

I'm referring to those folks who are completely, vocally and often violently opposed to gays having any rights based on their unique natures. These people insist they are not gay, yet somehow they are expert enough on human sexuality to know for sure that being gay is unnatural, it's a choice, and not the way one was born. Imagine the odds of being so certain about gay nature yet not being gay yourself or, not having studied gay people for years. Still, everywhere you look, there's some moron claiming, "I'm not gay, but I know for sure being gay is a choice."

There's a lot to be said for skepticism and making up one's own mind. I'm not advocating assumptions, which is why, after all these years of discussion, when every single gay person interviewed, talked to, questioned about their nature, unanimously says, "It's not a choice, this is how I was born" it is irrational to disbelieve them. Bigots want to believe that being gay is a choice. That way, they can convince themselves being gay doesn't qualify one for any rights. According to them, it's a preference as superficial as whether you like white or black socks (while also being weighty enough to determine if you're destined for Heaven or Hell.)

However, now the science is in. Homosexuality is a naturally occurring trait, and it's hard-wired into some of us, as the following articles demonstrate: Science Shows Being Gay Not A Choice and Gay Animals Out of the Closet. I'm glad there has been exhaustive research showing that being gay is not a choice.

However, I'm saddened that for some people, the science was necessary. Actually for bigots, they'll probably deny the science too, but what I'm complaining about is, why can't people just BELIEVE gays when they insist (when every single one interviewed on TV, radio, in print, on the net, insists) they are how they are because that's how they were born?

Interviewing a subject, gathering answers and comparing those answers is science, too. It's psychology. Could gays all be under some mass delusion and not realize they were simply choosing to be gay? That's the ridiculous scenario those cult-like organizations that promise to un-gay people want you to believe.

Even if it was a choice, it is a choice for a heterosexual to get married, and the breeder gets many benefits from that. To deny the same option to a fellow citizen just because they are gay is ridiculous, even if you believe the fallacy that being gay is a choice. When you accept the fact that bring gay is a trait people are born with, then you're denying rights to people for reasons beyond their control, and that's a real crime. There's your answer to why people insist it's a choice. It's much easier to deny rights to a group if you convince others the group exists by choice and members can opt-out at any time.

Maybe I'm being unfair. Maybe people don't have gay friends, but for me, I didn't need science at all.

The first person who came out to me was a high school friend I had known for years. I couldn't deny he was my friend. I was speechless but when I could talk again, I had so many questions. "How do you know? When did you know?"

He said, "I realized I was attracted to guys probably around the same time you started noticing girls." In other words, it was not a choice. Every gay person I've met, read about, heard about, etc. has said the exact same thing. It's not a choice. It's just how some people are. I believed my friend, and the evidence later on supported it. Let's kill the "Gayness is a choice" meme!

I drove on in silence, just the two of us alone in the car. "By the way," my friend added, "If it makes you feel any better, you're not my type."

I cannot tell a lie. It did make me feel better.

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Larry Nocella is the award-winning author of the novel Where Did This Come From? available at Amazon and Xlibris and other fine online book stores. Where Did This Come From? is also available as an eBook. For more info, visit Larry Nocella's website at http://www.larrynocella.com/.